Day 102...

Today there are no words only sleepiness and soreness.  Quite and calm.  Goodnight.

Day 101...

another day...

work meetings
huge lunch
sluggish afternoon
WOD
yup, WOD on a belly full of indian
burpees
belly
a struggle but pushed through
accomplished

another day...

Day 100...

100 days.  100 days of posts, of writing, of randomness.  I'd like to say that I've found my voice but I don't feel like I have - I'm scattered.  All over the place, an endless supply of emotions.  I like to write but I like to write too people and lately I find I'm keeping the more personal stuff elsewhere, hidden.  To him.  And I know that's okay, that this is my little corner and I'm free to do with it what I please - selfish - yes, but also why I created this page - for me.  I love all of you that follow along, check in occasionally or are profoundly confused when you stumble upon me after random google searches but alas.  It's just how it goes.

I have no focus to this post, no wisdom to impart, nothing special even to say except that wow - 100 days.  What a milestone.

Day 99...

Back to old routines.  Comforting.  Coffee runs and trips to the market.  Sleeping late, reading.  Writing.  I love Sundays.

*****

I woke startled last night, tears streaming down my face and they weren't small sobs but body shaking sobs.  Uncontrollable, unexplained.  I can barely recall the dream which brought about such sadness but what shook me the most was that when I woke up, memories erased I still wept.  I couldn't stop and so I let it out - the bottled up emotion that came from some place I don't understand.  I let it loose and when it was over I dried my eyes and drifted back into slumber once again.

Day 98...

I got home last night and today saw all my new Perth friends at the box... it was however slightly strange.  I'd only been gone a week.  One week exactly and yet it felt like much longer, months. 

When I returned from Ireland it was much the same, I attributed it then to the time I'd been gone - it was months... but now? Now I realize that it's not the days that pass but rather the changes I face, the faces I see, the culture, the perspective.  It changes me - a little of me left behind, a little of there carried with me.

The days don't matter, it's the experiences and I feel I've lived a lot in this past week.

Day 98...

It's funny how the concept of time disappears in airport lounges - travelers between destinations, journeys starting, ending... business and leisure.  Breakfast and beer, coffee and cocktails.  The world is dimensionless inside airport lounges, anything goes.

*****

I spent today in Brisbane wandering around the city aimlessly in the sunshine and humidity.  It's strange sometimes - the more I travel the more some places seem to be the same.  Brisbane - quite like Perth in places - perhaps I barely scratched the surface of Brisbane downtown, perhaps I don't know Perth city quite well enough - but to me, similarities.  And then, in another part of the city - Brisbane resembled Ottawa, a bit of back home.  Perhaps it's solely my perspective but wherever I go I'm reminded of all the other places I've been and I like that... new adventures, old memories.

Day 97...

November 24, 2011 did not exist.

Time is a funny thing.  Funnier still when you live so close to the date line.  Time.  Travel.  Time travel. 

Yes, today did not exist.

Day 96... thanks, racing thanks...

Today was a day for unexpected races.  For showing up, paddle in hand, gear all sorted, food ready to go.  It was for just going with the flow of events and finding a crew last minute.  Adapting.  A very young master, lots of thanks.

Thanks for paddling, for picking me.  And mostly, thanks for my abilities.  For the years spent with False Creek and the insanity of it all... of the practicing, procedures - drilled into us year after year.  The way.  The only way.  One ziploc.  Consistency.  It is because of this that I can adapt.  That I can jump in and be okay - better than okay.  I can hold my own because of the past, because of False Creek.  The experience, the paddlers, the knowledge.  So thank you - thanks to my Australian crew for race day and to my False Creek crews that got me there.

Day 95... dreams

Last night I dreamed of you...  I couldn't sense the line between what was real and what was not and it left me unsettled.  A bit of unrest, uneasiness.  But that will change soon.

Day 94...

Today was a challenge.  The hardest race I have ever steered.  Not the biggest water, not even close but the most challenging, unrelenting, never ending. 

And I did it twice.

The ocean is a beast.  She constantly exerts her force on us at will, we are just mere creatures floating on the surface - some days just hoping to make it safely back to land.  I love her power, have felt it only rarely - the insistent pounding.  Tossed so effortlessly across the spines of her swells.  The pure focus required to maneuver our tiny canoe along the surface, upright.  Steady.  I survived her today - the ocean - worked with her to cover the distance.  Harnessed her power as best that I could and most importantly I didn't fight her.  I was calm in her presence as she her exerted her full force upon us.