Day 12...

Today 'Claudia' and I got it on and I won out in the end... it was painful and challenging and I hated every minute of it - though I only once looked at the clock.  I cursed every step on the 400m runs and dreaded the next one before even finishing the one I was on.

For those that don't know - 'Claudia' is one of the benchmark crossfit WOD's (workout of the day)... it consists of:

5 rounds for time

20 kettle ball swings (16kg/ 35lbs - as prescribed Rx)
400m run

My finishing time: 19:26

This was the first WOD that I Rx-ed in the month that I've been doing crossfit.  It was hard.

Now that it's done I find it difficult to accurately capture how I was feeling in that 20 minute period.  There was  full range of emotions from some doubt at the beginning as Jeni convinced both Vicki and I that we could do 16kg kettleballs (and as I nervously eyed the 14).  There was the dreaded 3...2...1... beeping of the clock and then not giving it a second thought as I banged through the first 20 kb swings and was out the door.  Feeling fine but dreading the next 4 rounds and visualizing every.single.step of the 400m course.  Rounds two and three were just a matter of pushing through - one swing at a time, one step at a time, keep moving - no walking... the 'I can do this' mantra going through my head - the 'this is what crossfit is all about'...


Round 4... get into the box and bang out a solid 10 swings... then 5... Tim comes around - 'how many more?' - gasping for breath I show him 5 fingers... and he cheers me on - watches as the first one goes right over my head...4...3...2...1... out the door... keep pushing.  The girls were awesome - every time we passed another encouraging word as we all gasped for air.  Keep going... good work... keep going... going...


Round 5... I was the only one in the box for the swings, everyone else was done or out on their last 400m.  Tim - cheering, counting, encouraging...  'Knock them out 5 at a time'... I do 10.  Break. Emotion hitting hard... I got this.  5 more.  Breath. Tears in my eyes. Increasing my mental limits.  Stronger. Further. More... more.  5 more and done... out the door.  Last 400m on my own.  Full darkness.  Keep running... one more step... one less step... keep.on.going...

I knew there were people waiting on me, cheering me on as I ran from a distance but it was inspiring to come around the corner for the last 100m and see Tim and Vicki - who although just finishing herself was back out to cheer me on, bring me home.  I picked up the pace - how could I not with Tim bouncing spryly beside me - one.last.sprint.  One step at a time.  Vicki 'this is fast!'... round the last pylon, into the box and look at the clock... 19:26... under 20.  I did it.  Collapsed on the floor, high fives and congrats.

Glad it was over.  Writing my time on the board. Pride, lots of pride.  I may have finished last but I climbed a huge wall and it wasn't physical.  I conquered a demon today - I not only beat 'Claudia' but I beat part of myself, my doubt.  Today I broke down mental barriers.  Realized the huge capacity within myself to just keep going.  To know that there is support as I tackle this and people to cheer me on... this is life in it's essence.

And I also must add - afterwards, I felt like a little proud little kid with a gold star from the teacher though today mine was just a happy face beside the Rx that Jeni added for me.  Thanks you guys it was an amazing day!